“When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve.
While they were reclining at the table eating, He said,
'I tell you the truth,
one of you will betray Me– one who is eating with Me.'
They were saddened, and one by one they said to Him,
'Surely not I?'”
MARK 14:17-19

I wonder how we would have handled things had we known
we were to be betrayed by one who was sitting at our table.
Jesus felt no need to name the betrayer-to-be.
He allowed him to reveal himself.
It might have been easy for the disciples to look around,
to see whether they could identify the disciple about whom Jesus spoke,
but they did not.
I wonder what made the the disciples respond individually with “Surely not I?”

We struggle to understand both why and how Judas did what he did.
But, when honest, we know ourselves to have made decisions
that have led us away from the God we serve.

We hide many things from ourselves.
We like to see ourselves as self-aware, honest, and loyal to our God,
and yet, sometimes self has a way of showing up,
perhaps unwanted but present.

Healthy self-examination is good,
but a God-examination is best,
for He sees into the heart.

We all need to pray with the psalmist:
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23


Twila Charles Leichty - L12